Thursday, May 8, 2008

PLAIN ENGLISH, May 8th

span style="font-style:italic;">Writing clear, direct English is particularly important in a business context. Please rewrite the following item; there are many different but correct ways of doing this.

The Employee Health and Wellness Committee has been led to believe by pest control experts that the insect infestation problem will continue to worsen because of employees who are consuming food at their desks and other locations in the building instead of restricting their eating to the lunchroom.

4 comments:

Ying said...

The Employee Health and Wellness Committee led by pest control experts believes that the insect infestation problem will continue to worsen because employees are consuming food at their desks and other locations in the building instead of eathing in the lunchroom.

Veronica Baig said...

Ying: You've made some good improvements, but there are still some wordy elements in there;-)

Irena said...

The pest control experts are warning the Employee Health and Wellness Committee that the insect infestation will continue as long as employees are eating at their desks and other locations instead of the lunch room.

Veronica Baig said...

Irena: That's another improvement--now think about using the simple present tense instead of the present progressive as it is less wordy;-)