Sunday, June 29, 2008


span style="font-style:italic;">Writing clear, direct English is particularly important in a business context. Please rewrite the following item; there are many different but correct ways of doing this.

In order to construct a a highly effective ant trap, the Health and Wellness Committee recommends that small containers should be brought from home by every single employee. After inserting something sweet into the container to act as bait, petroleum jelly can be applied to the rims of these containers as that will prevent the crawling pests from getting back out of the jars once they have entered them to go after the sweet bait inside.

Check Chapter 9 of Barron's Business English, and avoid using the passive voice and other wordy construction!


Anonymous said...

The Health and Wellness Committee recommends using small containers and sweets as a bait for ants. Petroleum jelly should be applied to the rims of containers which will prevent ants from leaving.

Irena said...

Sorry Veronica, I forgat to write my name.

Veronica Baig said...

Irena: You've made a good start on this. Can anyone else improve on this?