Writing clear, direct English is particularly important in a business context. Please rewrite the following item; there are many different but correct ways of doing this.
The meeting that was held to discuss possible methods of ensuring workplace cleanliness by the external consultants who were hired by the company was both instructional and at various times amusing and even entertaining.
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11 comments:
The workplace cleanliness meeting held by external consultants was instructional, amusing and even entertaining.
Our company hired external consultants to address workplace cleanliness, it was instructional, amusing, and entertaining.
The workplace cleanliness meeting held by company hired external consultants was instructional, amusing, and entertaining.
The workplace cleanliness meeting, held by the external consultants, was amusing and entertaining.
Kelsey: Some good changes.
Tammy: Also good, but remember which punctuation is requried between independent clauses.
Margaret: Yes, but this could be improved with some additional punctuation.
Samantha: Good start, but note that you have missed out the "instructional" element.
Our company hired external consultants to address workplace cleanliness; it was instructional, amusing, and entertaining.
Tammy: Even better!
The workplace cleanliness meeting held by the external consultants was instructional, amusing and entertaining.
Janine: That's a good way of doing it.
The workplace cleanliness meeting, held by company hired external consultants, was instructional, amusing, and entertaining.
Margaret: Great!
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